IT HAS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I BLOGGED !!

I know it has been forever since I updated. You all should know I have had a busy time though. I have had the little babies to take care of. Kit had 5 puppies on April 23 at 3:30 pm. 2 boys and 3 girls. ( much to Brian's dismay) He really didn't want to be around when that happened. Not only was he there but I was busy teaching preschool. About 2 days later though Kit just didn't seem right. She would dig up the bedding and pace around the room. I thought it was that she was hot so I didn't worry too much about it. We later found out those are signs of a much bigger problem. On Sunday morning I went in to check on the puppies and the one the kids had named Happy was crying. I picked her up and snuggled her next to Kit so she could eat. She latched on and immediately fell asleep. I tried to wake her up but she wouldn't. Then I noticed that her little nose had turned white and her paw pads were white. I yelled for Drake and he woke up Brian for me. The ER vet told us to warm up the puppy and feed her with a dropper. After about 10 minutes of trying that we went to the pet hospital. There they told us that the puppy had died. My heart was broken. Just a few minutes ago this baby was crying and wiggling now she is gone. It totally sucked. We headed home with the puppy. I told Brian " I just want to cry really really hard so that I wont in front of the kids." He slowed down so that I could cry alot. My heart was broken not only for the lose of the puppy but I had 4 little kids waiting at home. I told myself over and over that it was okay and that she may have been a sick dog and all the other things I could think of to make myself be okay with it. When we got home I sat on the couch next to Davin. He smiled and said " Is she gonna be okay?" My heart sank,"No. She died but it's going to be alright." The poor little guy just crumbled. I could just see his heart break like mine had five minutes earlier. We gathered around and talked about life and how sad death is. We talked to the kids about how Happy was in heaven now and didn't have to feel hungry or cold ever again. We went over that the body would stay and that the spirit would leave . We told them that it was okay to be sad and to cry. They each took a turn saying goodbye to Happy. It truly broke my heart to see them experience the pain of death. We found a pink shoe box and lined it with a silky shirt. We had a nice little funeral for Happy. The kids a agreed that now she really was Happy.
When we went back in we talked about making sure the puppies stayed warm and had there turn to eat. If a smaller one gets pushed away too many times they will eventually stop trying and just stay asleep. They all agreed to help make sure the puppies were good. The rest of the day sucked really bad. I just kept thinking in my mind if only I would have fed her yesterday or went to the hospital sooner. crap like that all day. Brian was so good he knew how bad it hurt me. He was very sweet. A few times during that day I would just start to cry and he would hug me and tell me it was going to be okay. I remember asking him how long it was going to take for my heart to heal. He just held me closer and I think that helped alot. Luckily life does go on and busy things take your mind off of sad things. Two days later the puppy we call Ginger was acting the same way. I didn't mess around this time. It was 2:30 in the morning and I loaded all the puppies and Kit in the truck and went to the hospital. The way there I prayed that Ginger wouldn't die. I couldn't take another dead puppy home to my kids. The vet showed me how to tube feed the puppies and to do that every hour. That is when the labor of love truly started. If a puppy is crying they are hungry. That day when I dropped Drake and Jayme at school me and Davin and Hayden went to Petco and bought puppy formula and bottles. Every 45 minutes the puppies would eat. they wouldn't use the stupid bottles so I would have to sit in there and make sure they all got a turn with mom. This was very time consuming. I don't think the laundry or the anything for that matter got done for about a week. During that week I was teaching preschool and went up to check on Kit and realized she was not good. She honestly looked like death. She wouldn't even get by the puppies. I called the vet and told him everything that happened and he told me to give her half of an aspirin and come in the next morning. Okay I don't own aspirin. I can't go get aspirin because I have a House full of preschoolers. Life at that moment sucked. I just had to pray that everything would be okay and it turned out it was. The next morning when I took her in they told me Kit had mastitis. That is why she dug around the room (restlessness) that is why puppies were dying (Happy, almost Ginger) . I just wish I could have caught it sooner. Plus now her boob was going to explode. yes you read that right. Her Breast was going to burst. Oh my crap. That is all I had to say. let me just tell you that was the worst week ever I had to hot pack Kits breast every hour plus feed the babies every 45 minutes plus clean up there mess so that Kits wound wouldn't get infected and cause gain green. I just kept thinking it's par for the coarse. luckily we made it through and we are on the down hill fun side. The puppies are 4 weeks old today and are thriving little fa ttys. This experience has been a hard one. I truly want to thank Brian for loving me and letting me do this. I know it has been hard for him to be alone a lot at night. I hope you know Brian that I will always remember how tender you were to me when my heart had truly been broken. You are a great man and I love you.